Teens' text messages can B 2 much for parents

Source: Chicago Tribune

But to teens, texting is the best way to confirm plans or send a quick note without the formalities of a conversation.

"When I don't really feel like talking to someone, I can just text them, so I don't have to have a full conversation," says 19-year-old senior Solomon Silva, who's home-schooled. "I don't really like to take the time to call someone and talk to them for just hours. It's easier to just text them and ask a question."

"It's straight to the point," agrees Cybil Bryant, who's 16 and a junior at Christian Brothers High School in Sacramento. "If you're like leaving your house to go to someone's house, you can just text them and say, `Be there in 5.'"

Some teens rely on text messaging for tough conversations or arguments, since sometimes "you don't have the guts to say things to people upfront," Cybil says.

"If a guy asks you out on a date, it's easier for them to say that than say it in person," says Cybil, who says it seems like most guys ask girls out via text messages. "I got asked to like three homecomings this year, and it was all through text messaging."

Psychologists say teens' obsession with texting isn't surprising, since this age group has always been known for its need for constant communication.

"At that stage, kids are typically pulling away from their parents, and in doing that, the people that become most important to them are their peers," says Philadelphia-based family therapist Donna Tonrey. "Years ago, you would hear parents talk about how they could never use the phone when their teenagers were home, but now the phone is in their pocket."

But text messaging puts conversations into different contexts, which is changing how this generation communicates. Emily's dad, Steven Wagner-Davis, has seen it from his rearview mirror. He says that as he drives Emily and her friends around, they'll sit side by side, texting other friends instead of talking to each other.

Since text messaging has increased in popularity, teens have become accustomed to the idea that every one of their friends is available, all the time. Emily's phone sometimes takes a minute to respond to text messages, and she says her friends get anxious and send her texts asking, "R U there?"

"It's all about immediate gratification, and this generation, because of text messaging, is growing up believing that everyone is at their beck and call," says Gilda Carle, a New York-based counselor for teens. Carle worries that the trend will ultimately result in a generation that's impatient and dependent on peers.